


A Part of the Family

by BadAtPennames



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Military, Titan Eren Yeager, scientific experimentation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-11-09 23:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadAtPennames/pseuds/BadAtPennames
Summary: More questions than answers are raised when the Survey Corps capture an unusual titan outside the walls and bring it in for research.  Somehow this means Levi gets a new pet.





	1. New Addition

**Author's Note:**

> I found this on my computer, written way back before we knew anything about where titans came from. If you keep up with the latest chapters of the manga, this would not be compliant with the explanation that has been given.

He had been running on thundering footsteps, chasing after the smaller titan when he felt it.  The first tiny pinpricks that yanked him back and to the left.  Something had caught him and he raised his right arm to pull whatever it was restraining him out of his left shoulder when there were more.  He could see them now as he turned his head, thin little lines hooked into the meaty portion above his right elbow. 

Then they were in his legs, his sides, his back.  He roared out in anger, furious at being trapped, until they sewed his mouth shut.

His head swung around and he saw miniscule little figures, the small people he had often seen charging out from behind the great wall on horses.  They were perched now in the trees surrounding him, on branches and boughs, firing the constricting lines into his body. 

He had never paid them much mind before, not interested in the least.  Insects on the ground below.

The titans they attracted, however, he liked to fight.  They were something to take his anger out on; he hated all other titans, wanted to eradicate their existence, though he could never remember the cause of his fury.  Trying was like searching through a muffled dreamscape where the scene kept shifting aimlessly.

The humans began to leave their branches now, flying around him on more of those thin little strings, too many to count, tightening the lines around him as they crisscrossed in front of his vision. 

He struggled against the cables, ripping some loose.  He nearly had an arm free when a tiny little human, faster than the rest, cut the muscles in his arms, stripping him of movement.  He caught glimpses of dark hair against the green blur of its cape.  Despite the situation, he was impressed.  This human had bite.

Without warning he was tipped over, crashing to the forest ground, crunching saplings beneath his giant body.  The humans attached more hooks to his shoulders, the strings thicker like yarn and he felt himself being winched onto a cart.

He was seething now, great huffs of steam escaping from his nostrils and the humans made excited buzzing sounds around him, too many to pick out the meanings of the noise.  The cart lurched, a team of horses pulling and he was left to stare up into the cloudy sky.

It wasn’t a long trip; the humans had barely ventured beyond their wall.  He had been waiting nearby, eager for the chaos their arrival usually caused on the outside. 

He found the sky cut off from view as they entered a tunnel, the huge teeth of the gate fixed above him and then the sky reappeared.  There was more noise then, screams and terrified murmurs from around him and the edges of tiny rooftops to either side of his vision.

They passed through another tunnel and the noise faded away to just the pounding of hooves and the occasional shout from the riders around him.

-

They kept him chained and guarded.  The first morning, a small one with brown hair tied up and goggles strapped to their face came to see him, excited and buzzing like a mosquito.

She shouted orders to the others and he watched her curiously.  She came near him, without a hint of caution while another tried to pull her back.  She called up to him, but he ignored her, closing his eyes with a huff.

She continued to buzz from below and then with a loud yell, he felt something sharp dig into his foot.  His eyes snapped open with a glare.

He changed his mind, she was not a mosquito, she was a wasp.

After that, he paid more attention.

She tried to name him, loudly announcing one morning that she was going to call him Bauchan, telling him it was a creature from an old story.  He got the impression that she did not understand his irritation.

Some days she poked and prodded, while the man who frequently tried to restrain her took notes.  Other days she merely watched, placed items near him to see if he would react.  She threw a giant tarp over his head and left it there, removed digits to squeal as they regrew.  One particularly memorable day she went so far as the have his whole body pinned to the ground, mouth forced to stay open as spikes pierced through his jaw and soft palette.  While it didn’t hurt more than to feel like dull pinches, it wasn’t comfortable either.

She had walked up to him, eyes sparking with her familiar gleam.

“Good morning Bauchan!  I want to get a look at those teeth!” she said, gripping a large blacksmith’s tongs.  He knew she’d be doing more than looking.

It still didn’t lessen the surprise when she climbed into his mouth and began to jab at his incisors.  He jerked his tongue out from under her feet, ripping it out from the pole it was speared on, blood gushing out only to stop as it immediately started to steam and heal.

He heard her yelp as she fell to the bottom of his mouth. 

 She started to scramble to her feet, but he scooped her up and out of his mouth with his tongue, pushing her as far away as she could.

“Wait!  I just want to look!”

He blasted her with a jet of hot air from his nostrils and saw her scramble out fully into his view.

“Don’t want to let me look, eh?”

He narrowed his eyes in a glare and huffed out another breath.

“Fine, fine,” she said, although the look on her face suggested it wasn’t.  She looked dejected, but he really couldn’t be bothered with her feelings.

“You’re a really strange one, you know?” she said.  He gave her a look to suggest he wasn’t the strange one.  She paused, a flash of surprise on her face as she considered some new idea.  “You don’t want to eat us.  You really are unusual.”

He rolled his eyes away, instead fixating on the nervous man who always accompanied her.

She was apparently done for the day, anyway.

-

He watched the human warily.  She was especially enthusiastic and that was cause for caution.  Not that she could really cause him much pain, although she had tried. 

“Good morning Bauchan.  Let’s have a little chat while Moblit and the others finish setting up.  Oh!  Before I forget, I brought you something.”  She dug around in the pack she carried with her until she pulled out something wrapped in brown paper.  Setting down her pack, she scampered up to him, excitedly.

“You didn’t seem too interested in me, so I brought you some leftovers from breakfast.”

He huffed at her, unable to do more with the way he was chained down and spiked to the ground.  He could move his head from side to side and lift it slightly.  He could wiggle his fingers and toes.   That was about the limit of his mobility.

“Here, take a whiff,” she encouraged holding her hand under his nose.  “All right, now open up!”

He didn’t bother to respond, but she tugged his upper lip up and away from his teeth.

“Come on, open!  Open up!” 

He made a noise in his throat, but humored her enough to relax his jaw and allow his teeth to part.

“Good job!” she cooed, patting the bridge of his nose as he dumped the contents of the brown paper into his mouth.  It was soft with little flavor. 

“Potatoes and eggs,” she said before leaning in conspiratorially, “We ran out of salt so they don’t have much taste.”

She backed away then, out of reach, not that he’d be capable of doing anything, anyway.

“I suppose I haven’t told you what we’re doing.  See we’ve been stuck in these walls a long time because of you titans…”

Titans.  He hated them.  He just wanted to get out of the courtyard he was penned in and go fight them.  Titans had… they had done something, as he searched for the memory a red fog came over him.  Wrapped his mind in it.

He grunted furiously and twisted in his bindings.  He snapped his teeth as much as he could, fingers wriggling, toes digging.  Snorts of steam were shoved from his nostrils and a low growl was building in his throat.

“Whoa!  Calm down there, Bauchan!”

He heard clicks and whirs and felt more stakes enter his body, while the little humans shouted around him.  He struggled, but they pinned him down until he couldn’t move, trapped in his body, fury growing to a crescendo.  

He didn’t know how much later it was, but he opened his eyes and felt tired.  She was there, sitting on the ground in front of him, watching him.

“You okay there, big guy?”

His breath came out heavily as he stared back at her.

“You put up quite a fight.”

His mouth twitched upwards.  He had always been a good fighter.

“Was it the potatoes and eggs?  Don’t like them?”

His eyes slid away from her as he tried to see what little else he could.

“No, not that,” she said to herself.  “It was when I started talking about titans, wasn’t it?”

His eyes snapped back to her and he growled again, low, threatening.  She didn’t flinch, just looked back, oddly calm as she sat there, eyes intensely watching.

“I think that’s enough excitement for today.”

-

“He has intelligence,” Hange insisted, slapping a notebook down on the table.  “I just need to find a way to engage him.”

Erwin didn’t answer immediately, instead placing his cup back down in front of him and folded his hands in front of his face to indicate she should continue.  The formation diagrams for the next expedition politely ignored on the desk in front of him.

“I’m certain he can understand us sometimes, like a dog can understand a command.  There are a few words he has responded to.”

“You’re not suggesting we try to train him like some sort of overgrown pet?” Levi asked, glancing into his own cup to watch the leaves settle.  He was seated on the couch, one leg crossing the other, his ankle resting atop the opposite knee. 

“Why not?” Hange spun to face him, as if the suggestion was entirely reasonable.  They had encountered hundreds of titans and as far as Levi was concerned, not a one of them had ever shown anything other than a vacant, deadeye look on their faces while they attempted to eat every human in sight.

“How do you propose to train him, if your theory is correct?” Erwin asked, forestalling any number of reasons Levi could give.

“I have to determine the limits of his understanding, but I’m certain we could teach him to respond to verbal commands.” The scientist had flipped open the notebook cover and was rifling through the pages distractedly.  Levi didn’t so much as glance at the notes and sketches, instead pinning the other squad leader with his steel gaze. 

“Using what?  A human arm as a treat when he gets something right?”

“I don’t think he’d be interested in that.  He never pursued any member of the corps the two times we saw him before capturing him.  In fact, he literally pushed me out of his mouth, the other day!  Maybe potatoes would work.”

There was a pause in the room.

“What were you doing in his mouth?” Erwin asked, looking as if he immediately regretted asking.

“I was looking at his teeth.  He didn’t like that much.  Took his tongue right out from under me, next thing I know, I’m outside and he’s giving me a dirty look.  Never seen anything like it.”

Erwin leaned back in his chair, eyes falling on the notebook without actually looking.  He was considering it, half-forming plans and scenarios before he could stop from getting ahead of himself.

“If you think you can train him, do it.”

-

The next day was different.  There were more humans and they seemed nervous.  He understood why when he felt the binds holding him down loosen.

They were clearly afraid of him.

“Bauchan, let’s play a game!” the goggled one shouted, running up to him.

He let out an irritated noise at the name.

“I want to see how fast you can run!  Can you run to that tree over there?” she yelled, pointed off to his right.  “Run to the tree!”

He didn’t bother to look.

“Hey, Hange, that thing can’t understand you,” another human called out, not sounding nearly as excited, but his gaze was fixed firmly on him.  He was smaller than the others, but not by much.  They were all small and at that size, there wasn’t much point categorizing them by height.

The dark hair looked familiar and with a surge of interest, he suspected it might have been the one who had been fast enough to slice his muscles and thwart his escape.  With the strings holding him in place gone, he crouched down to get a better look.  

Around him, he heard a couple of metallic clicks and a few odd whirring noises.

The little man tensed up, clearly ready to attack, not an ounce of fear showing like the others, and not insane like the goggled woman.  This one was ready to fight, to snap into a flurry of movement in the blink of an eye.  As he studied the human, he became more certain the tiny creature was built for battle.  This man could take down titans effortlessly, he could see in the confidence of his tiny shoulders, the steel in his little eyes.  The smaller man was undoubtedly dangerous.  It must have been him. 

He lifted his arm up, extending it towards the man, finger outstretched as he reached forward.  Before he could blink, the tip of his finger was gone, light steam rising from where it had been.

“Don’t touch me, you shitty titan.”

He reared back, blinking.  The man was quick, blades out and edges aimed at him.  The human appeared to be every bit the fighter he had suspected him to be.

He tipped his giant head to the side, watching the little man.  When the man made no further moves, he leaned back, considering.  He roved his giant gaze over the human, from the sure stance to the impassive face, from the firm grip on the blades to the steady glare in his eyes.

He was wonderful. 

He dug into his memory for an old forgotten skill, mostly useless to him nowadays.  Looking down at the ground where his legs where currently folded beneath him, he concentrated.

Extending a finger, he began to scratch in the dirt, when he was done, he looked back at the tiny man.  Except the man wasn’t looking at him anymore.  No one was.  They were staring at what he had written in the dirt, frozen. 

**N A M E ?**

He let out a grunt and then pointed at the man again, catching his attention before pointing back at the dirt.

“Levi,” he said after a long moment, quiet, but it still carried.

The titan leaned back with a satisfied hum.  _Levi_.  The man in question was now staring at him, a new tenseness to his stance.  He had done something the humans hadn’t been expecting, apparently.  They were startled.

Then the squealing started.

He threw a dirty look towards the goggle woman.

“You can understand me, right?  I’m Hange!  Can you-”

He swatted at her in the hope that she would be quiet.  She jumped away with a yelp.

After a moment, he wiped away his scratches and wrote something else.

**E R E N**

He pointed at himself.

“Your name is Eren?” the woman asked.  He nodded.

She tried to get him to answer more questions after that, attempted to get him to write more, but he wasn’t interested.  He just kept looking at Levi, the little human that wasn’t afraid of him.

-

Hange was near hyperventilating as she tried to get out what she wanted to say.  Normally her excitement only made her talk at lightning speeds, but here she was standing in Erwin’s office and tripping over her words.

“He’s intelligent!” she finally got out.

“Who is?” Erwin asked, pen still in hand and correspondence interrupted.  He had a feeling that he was going to have to ignore the letter writing to the capital for the time being.

“Eren!”

Levi strolled in then and kicked the door shut behind him, having been behind the resident scientist, but at a much more sane pace.

“Is that a recruit?”

“No, it’s the titan.  His name is Eren!  He told us!”

Erwin looked helplessly to Levi, hoping for some more detailed explanation as his other squad leader seemed to be suffering conniptions.

“The titan can write.  Wrote his name in the dirt,” Levi clarified.

Erwin glanced down at his letter, then swiftly placed his pen back in the well and the paper in his top drawer before giving his undivided attention.

“I knew he was different, but this!” Hange twirled and then slapped her hands on the front of Erwin’s desk to grin manically.  “Erwin there are possibilities here.  He can understand us to some degree.  I need to get a feel for his mental capacity still, but we have a chance to make significant headway in our understanding of titans!”

Erwin shot another look towards Levi, as if waiting for him to refute everything, but the squad leader merely shrugged at him.

“What are you asking for, Hange?”

She blinked at him, eyes large and round as her mind derailed to jump onto another track.  “More manpower.  More time.  I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me.”

-

After several failed days of trying to engage him in communication, with only a few uninteresting humans around, Hange gave up, at least temporarily.

She tried to get him to perform tasks, simple things like building a house out of logs or arranging boulders by size, but he would idly flick them away in annoyance.  He was bored and wanted to go back outside the wall where he could run down other titans and fight them.

Then one morning there were many humans again, including the one named Levi.  He let out a pleased grunt when he saw him.  He didn’t miss the thoughtful look as Hange walked over to Levi and lowly whispered to him.  The man gave her a strange look but then turned back to Eren.

“Yo, Eren.  We’re going to race to that tree.  If you lose, I’ll cut off your legs.”

Eren looked to the tree that Levi pointed at, then looked back at Levi himself.  The disbelief on his face would have been difficult to misinterpret.  He decided to humor the man anyway, and as the cables were cut and loosened, he stood up and turned towards the tree.

He could hear Hange buzzing in the background. 

“On your mark, get set, go!”

Eren took off, sprinting lazily until he noticed Levi zipping along on his strings through the low trees beside him.  He was fast.

Huffing, Eren sped up, lengthening his stride.  He reached the tree just as Levi landed on one of its branches, tying him.  If it had been any further, the tiny little man would have beat him.  Eren crouched down to stare at him on his branch.

“Hmph.  Looks like you get to keep your legs today.”

Eren snorted out a rumbling laugh.

“Hey, let me ride you back,” Levi said, already shooting out his lines to hook onto Eren’s shoulder in a faint sting. 

Eren tried to turn his head to look at him.

“Make any funny moves and I’ll kill you.”  Levi glared at him, unflinching.

Eren let out a short nod and then walked them back over to where Hange was eagerly waiting.

Levi was always present after that.

-

“Why do you like him so much, anyway?” Hange asked cheerfully.  “He’s short and rude, has terrible people skills.”

Eren glanced over at the short man who was sipping tea from a cup. He started to scratch on the ground, conscious of Levi’s eyes on him.

**B R A V E**

“That’s true, he’s not afraid of you, is he?”  No, Levi was certainly not afraid. 

**F I G H T**

“I’m not sure what you mean?  He fights or you want to fight?”

Eren quickly swept it away, slightly frustrated then tried again.

**S T R O N G**

“Haha!  They call him ‘Humanity’s Strongest’, did you know?”

Eren looked over at the seemingly disinterested man, who stared back calmly.  The strongest of the humans…?  Yes, he could believe that.  Levi was unlike the other humans who buzzed around.  He seemed to be the only one besides Hange who Eren didn’t make nervous.  Hange wasn’t afraid because she was insane, but Levi wasn’t afraid because he was strong.

Eren studied the smaller human some more, his tiny form and his steady gray eyes that Eren had to get up close to really see.  He liked his shiny black hair and how quick he was to draw his blades.  He was also very small.  A tiny little warrior.

**C U T E**

Hange’s cackle of laughter nearly hurt his ears, but he was watching Levi’s face.  The man was currently staring down at the word, brows furrowed together before shooting Eren an annoyed glare.

“Hey, who the fuck are you calling cute?” He sounded angry, but as Eren watched, he could see the slightest hint of pink spread across his face.

He pointed at Levi as he widened his smile.

He blinked and his fingertip was gone.

-

If he was allowed to fully stand, he could just make out a thin line on the horizon over the treetops that must be the wall the wasp woman had talked about.  Today, not so much. 

He was sitting, but there were chains and ropes binding his legs and constricting his movements.  It was also raining heavily which obscured his vision beyond the immediate courtyard.  His hair was dripping into his face and down his nose.  The little soldiers all had curious tarps thrown over themselves to prevent themselves from getting soaked.

He didn’t particularly mind being wet, but every time he blinked his eyes water droplets came loose from the lashes and either fell onto his cheeks or back into his eyes.  It was irritating. 

He tried to look for Levi, but with all of them covered in their tarps, he could see their heads very well.  Except for the wasp.  She was shouting and gesturing to the others, which kept loosening her head covering so it slipped off and she’d get rain on her head and running down her back.

Eren huffed out a steamy breath, but was largely ignored.  Whatever they were planning on doing certainly involved him, as it did every time they swarmed around, zipping around like winged ants as they struggled to keep up with the wasp’s orders.  Perhaps they were all like wasps and she was the queen of the nest.

Except for Levi.  He seemed exempt from her demands.  She made a point of requesting his assistance. 

All he had to do then was look for the covered figure that wasn’t buzzing about.  He swept his gaze back and forth.  It wasn’t until his eyes landed on a nearby tree that he saw the four figures huddled under it.  One was smaller than the others. 

He reached out, glad his arms had been left free and quickly snatched the tarped warrior, cupping him gently in his palms to bring him close to his face.  There was a lot of commotion from the other three figures, and they shot there hooks into him, with their blades out and ready.  He ignored them, bringing his hands near his face before he opened them up.

The figure tumbled for a moment before regaining their feet and looking up at him.

It was not Levi.

Eren furrowed his brows together and the corners of his mouth dipped down.

The other three figures were starting to move, but the one in his palms held a hand up for them to stop.  The hand shook slightly.

“Did you think I was Levi?”

Eren nodded.

“I’m Petra.  Levi didn’t want to get wet.”

He gave her his best unimpressed look.  Then he gently reached for he little tarp and tugged on the hood with his fingernails before reaching up to point at the top of his own head.

“You want a cloak?”

If that was what they were calling it, sure.  He nodded again.  Anything that would keep the rain off his face.  He didn’t really care about the rest of himself.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said and smiled brightly up at him.  He tilted his head.  Other than the wasp, she was the first person to actually smile at him.  Strange little warrior.  Afraid of him, but she didn’t let her fear get to her. 

He carefully set her down and tried to write in the dirt, but it was sloppy mud, and the letters filled in immediately.

She made a gesture at him that may have been to sit tight, which he was being forced to do regardless, and she ran off.

He wasn’t sure how much later it was when she finally did return, only that the rain, if possible, was falling harder.

She held one end of rolled up canvas and was assisted by three others as they struggled with it.  He waited until they got closer and then plucked it from the grasp, delicately unrolling it to find it had eight odd flaps in two rows and the top and bottom sides had vertical splits.

“It’s one of the Legion’s tents,” Petra called up as he situated it on his head so part of it overhung his forehead and caught the rain.

He reached out to carefully tap her twice on the head in what might have been an expression of thanks.

-

“I heard you made friends with Petra,” Levi said, walking up.

Eren blinked slowly at him, still groggy from sleep.  He was pinned down flat on his back, heavy ropes securing him across his chest down to his ankles.  The sun had just crept above the trees a few minutes ago.  It was the rays piercing through his eyelids that woke him.

“She thinks you need a big tent for the rain and to get out of the sun.  Not sure if she thinks you’re a pet or a person.”

Eren snorted at him, watching the gush of air slightly ruffle the little warrior’s clothes.

“Hange wants to get started early today.  Not sure what she has in mind.  Don’t want to know, actually.”

Eren hummed at him.  He wasn’t particularly concerned with what the wasp wanted to do.  Nothing she did ever hurt too much or for very long. 

Still, if it were his choice, he would not be lounging on the ground while he was poked and prodded.  He would much rather be out beyond the horizon, meting out his justice.  He had to exterminate every last titan he came across for his… his…

His brows knit together as he struggled with the memory.  It was just below the surface of conscious thought, like a half-forgotten dream.  He had been smaller, scared, and incredibly angry.  Grief, he remembered that, and shouting.

“Hey!  You in there?” Levi asked, knocking ungently on a massive temple.  “What the hell are you thinking about, anyway?”

Eren sighed heavily, sliding his eyes to the side to meet the tiny warrior’s gaze. 

“What are you giving me those puppy dog eyes for?  C’mon, they’re loosening the ropes, get up.”

There wasn’t much he could do as long as he was stuck in the courtyard, other than be submitted to various tests.  As he was slowly allowed to rise to a sit, he kept his eyes on the line of trees, knowing beyond them was the wall.

-

“What about this, Eren?  Can you tell me what this feels like?” Hange called out as she scratched vigorously at his scalp with a rake.  Eren half opened one eye to look upwards before shutting it again.  It felt heavenly, is how it felt.  He couldn’t be bothered to move.

“Awww, he’s almost kind of like a big dog right now,” Petra cooed.  “What do you think, Captain?  Cute like a puppy.”

This time both of Eren’s eyes were slitted open and trained on the tiny warrior.

“I’ve always been a cat person,” Levi replied, meeting Eren’s gaze dead on.

“Don’t listen to him Eren, he’s just teasing.”

The look on Levi’s face suggested he was not teasing, but he always kind of had that same expression.  It was hard to tell.  Eren gave him a dopey grin anyway.

“You actually like her climbing around your hair like some kind of grub?”

A rumble from a massive throat answered him.

“Well he can purr like a cat!  Looks like he’s suited to you after all, Captain!”

“If you’re looking for something to do Petra, I can put you to work,” Levi said, casually.

Petra gave a distracted wave with her hand as she left her squad leader’s side and moved closer to the titan that was chained down on his stomach.  She was careful to move to the side of his head, well clear of his mouth, and stopped near his ear.

“Between you and me, he’s just a little embarrassed at how fond he is of you.  You’ve really grown on him,” she said, conspiratorially, even though her squad leader and anyone near could clearly hear every word she said if they bothered to pay any attention.  She gave his ear a light pat.

There was a huff of breath that might have been a laugh and a squawk from above as Hange overbalanced with the movement. 

-

Eren was growing impatient, having spent weeks inside the wall without fighting.  Weeks without ripping other titans apart, erasing their existence from the world.  It made him irritable.  Hange was somewhere below him, wanted him to answer questions.  Most of her inquiries were usually about titan physiology, which he never bothered to answer.

It didn’t interest him.

Then she had Levi ask, but Eren kept his gaze towards the wall, ignoring them both.

“Hey, you piece of shit, I’m talking to you!”

Eren turned back to watch Levi yell up at him, for once, exasperated with the man.  His mood today was not one of accommodation, no matter who was asking.  He leant down towards Levi, noticing how after all this time, the man still didn’t let his guard down around Eren.  Without taking his eyes off of those narrowed stormy gray ones, Eren snapped his arm forward and tried to grab Levi.

The man was quick with his blades, but Eren had two hands, and he managed to sandwich him between his palms, very gently lifting him up while he waited for his freshly severed fingers to regrow.

“Put me down,” Levi ordered, voice more dangerous than Eren had ever heard it.  Below there was a lot of yelling that Eren ignored.  Instead, with the two fingers he had remaining on his left hand, he pried the blades away from Levi and let them fall to the ground.

Even disarmed, the man didn’t let any fear show, if he even felt any.  He brought Levi up to his face and grinned at him.

“Wipe that disgusting look off your face.”

Instead, Eren carefully swung his arm over to a nearby tree, tugging at the little canisters on Levi’s gear, snapping them off, and ever so cautiously set him on the highest branch that could conceivably support his weight.

By now, the other humans were zipping around Eren, blades out as they waited to see what he would do.

He just smiled at Levi.

“You are a piece of shit,” Levi growled, one armed wrapped around the trunk of the tree.  Eren huffed happily at him.

-

Levi didn’t come out the next day.

“He’s just sulking, Eren,” Hange said consolingly to the despondent titan.  “He’ll be back in a day or two, don’t worry.”

Eren wasn’t worried, but he was bored and he was moody.  He spent the day ignoring Hange and idly dragging his finger through the dirt, making squiggly patterns as he occasionally let out long sighs of steam.

-

“I heard you spent the last few days sulking when I wasn’t around,” Levi called up to him.

**N O.  Y O U  S U L K.**

“I was busy.  I have things to do other than hang around you all day.”

“Now, now boys, let’s not have a lover’s spat again,” Hange laughed.  The look Levi gave her was murderous.

Eren tilted his head, looking at Hange in confusion.  He didn’t remember what all her words meant.  He scratched out a question, eyes swinging towards the bespectacled soldier.

**L O V E R ?**

“Oh!” Hange smiled, wide, “When two people really like each other, sometimes they become lovers.”

Eren erased his question mark and pointed at Levi.

“I am not your lover!”

Eren tapped the ground next to the word more forcefully, then pointed at Levi again.  The tiny man looked highly irritated. 

“Hange, you better explain it better!”

“No, I think he has it right,” Hange grinned, not minding the death glare she was receiving.

Eren huffed, done with the conversation as he erased his word, then began to scratch again.  It took him a while, struggling to recall the words he wanted and the letters that made them up.

**G O  O U T S I D E.  F I G H T.**

“You want to go outside the walls?” Hange asked.

Eren nodded.

“To fight other titans?”

Eren nodded again and grinned.  He stuck his tongue out slightly as he carefully etched out his response.

**L E V I  C O M E.   W E  F I G H T.**

“What do you say, Levi?  Sounds like a pretty romantic date!”

Eren looked at Levi.  Again, not all of Hange’s words held meaning for him.

“Talk to Erwin.  I don’t decide those things.”

Eren reached out and quickly grabbed Levi.  He was getting faster.

“If you put me in a tree again I am going to cut your entire neck off.”

Eren raised him up and looked into his eyes seriously.  The man seemed unimpressed and unworried.  Eren quickly scratched out another message.

**D A T E.  F I G H T.**

Then he brought his face close to Levi and rubbed the tip of his nose on his chest.

“That’s not what a date is.”

-

“Good news, Eren!” Hange howled up at him.  His giant eyes slid over to the tiny woman rocking back on her heels with a wide grin splitting her face.  “We get to go outside in a few days.  You can fight all the titans you want with Levi!  Pretty romantic, right?”

“Hange!” Levi’s voice cut over in warning.  Eren was less concerned with Levi’s irritation as his mood soared, a pleased huff escaping him.

“Oh c’mon!  The big guy loves you!”

**L O V E ?**

Hange looked down at the word and her smile turned manic.  “When you really like someone a lot, it’s called love.”

He could hear Levi protesting, irritated with Hange again.  She was very good at getting reactions from him.

Eren erased the question mark and scratched another a few more letters out.

**L O V E  L E V I.**

Eren watched curiously as Levi slapped a hand to his face and mumbled out a few curses.

“Oh Eren, he’s embarrassed!  Isn’t that cute?”

Eren nodded in agreement and his mouth stretched wider, lifting at the corners. 

“Look Levi, he’s smiling!”

“I am going to stab both of you.”  Eren leaned down and huffed a steamed breath out on Levi, his eyes watching the flush spreading across the small human’s face. 

-

Several days later, Eren watched the gate rise eagerly.  He could barely contain his excitement. 

“Don’t run off on us now, Eren.  Levi would be terribly upset,” Hange called up from next to him. He ignored her, but turned his head to look behind him at where Levi was, gray eyes looking at him blankly.  There was a shout from the front of the group and the horses around him started to move forward.

Eren began to walk, too, ducking under the tunnel and finally standing outside the wall once again.  He took a moment to breathe deeply and then strolled along with the horses, eagerly awaiting the inevitable arrival of the titans with such a large group of humans.

They stuck relatively close to the wall, keeping it in distant sight as they traveled parallel to it. 

He didn’t have to wait long.

It was barely fifteen minutes after the last rider passed under the gate that the first titan appeared, a flare shooting into the air that he paid no attention to.  Eren ran to greet it, arm pulled back as approached, snapped forward through a throat as he closed the gap.  He swung his head to look around.  Once one showed, it wouldn’t be long before more came especially if the humans stayed in the same area.

Not long after, another flare going off had Eren spinning around to look, seeing a small group of three titans shambling towards them.  Below he could hear the humans yelling about their size, but all Eren saw was that they were smaller than him.

He charged towards them, giant hand reaching out to smack into the face of the nearest one, fingers clutching as he forced it backwards off its feet to slam into the ground.  He felt a prick in his shoulder, the telltale whirring of gear, and then Levi was vaulting over his shoulder towards the next one.  Eren watched as the tiny human whirled around behind the neck of the next one, a thick slice of flesh flying into the air as Levi reappeared on the other side of its head.

The third titan altered its course as it noticed Levi and stretched its arms out towards the human with greedy, reaching fingers.  Eren raced towards it, running into it full force, tackling it to the ground.  They skidded to a stop, great furrows of earth piling up on either side as Eren began to crash his fists into its skull.

When it began to smoke around him, body shriveling slowly away, he began to look for the small human.  He found him, standing not far away, watching impassively.

Eren quickly reached over to him and picked him up, always carefully.

Levi didn’t protest as Eren moved him close to his giant face.

“Happy?”

Eren let out a noise reminiscent of a purr and brought Levi up against his cheek a satisfied rumbling starting in his chest.

“Petra’s right.  You’re like a fucking dog.”

The sudden excited squawks of the other humans had Eren turning his attention towards the group of soldiers.  He watched them fire their little guns, great plumes of colored smoke streaking up into the air.  Eren tilted his head quizzically.  Hange had tried to explain what the different flares meant, delighted to find that he was not, in fact, colorblind.

“Hey, there’s more coming.  Stop rubbing yourself all over me and put me down.”

Eren looked back at Levi, cradled gently in his palm and extended a finger to lightly pet the top of the irritated soldier’s head before setting him safely on the ground.  He turned to look where the humans were watching and saw the horde.

He didn’t bother to try and count the mass of titans heading towards them, but ran to greet it.

The sight of them made him angry and he could feel it building up inside of him.  That uncontrollable rage urging him on to sink his fists into their flesh, to grab them and rip their arms off, snap their bones between his teeth.  He could hear himself roaring as he flung his body into the fray.  He swung his arms at them, felt flesh hit flesh, kicked out, clicked his jaws.

What few thoughts he had devolved into the need to destroy, to tear apart every last one of them until they were nothing but smoking masses on the ground.  He wanted nothing more than to exterminate all the other titans from the face of the earth.  The only thing he saw were their sprays of blood, the only sound the squelch from their severed limbs. 

Distantly, he heard his name called from somewhere far away.  Too far to be important.

There was a whirring sound, and then he was falling forward, the ground rushing up towards him.

Through the murky dimness of his mind he heard clear voices.

“What the hell?”

“Oh my God, is that…?”

He struggled to open his eyes, fighting past the fever of his body.  His vision rolled past the sky beyond to catch on the figure standing over him, features widened in abject shock.  In his peripheral he saw Hange struggle to climb up something massive, but his gaze remained focused on the man above him.

His mouth worked to form sounds it hadn’t in longer than he could remember.

“…Levi?  How did… you… get so tall…?”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I posted this story initially, I thought it was going to be a short two-part deal. Then I wrote this and it got all plot-y. It's also not very much like the first part and I briefly considered scrapping this chapter and starting over, but I like the way it turned out and rewriting it seemed like a lot of work. No idea where it's going at the moment, but I do plan to wrap it up in with another chapter or two.

“…Levi?  How did… you… get so tall…?” Was that his voice?  The words were slow and clumsy.  He sounded – he felt exhausted.  His tongue was heavy in his mouth, and speaking seemed much harder than it should have.  The words were hesitant to come to mind as if being dug up from a long-buried grave.  Even when he did find them he wasn’t sure of their meaning, like they were foreign and he was just learning. 

The tiny warrior -no, the man was hovering above him and he seemed _huge_ \- was gaping at him.  His hands had a loose grip on his blades and he looked as if thinking was beyond him.  Eren could relate.  His mind felt dull and there was a buzzing around him that he couldn’t tell if it were real or in his head. 

He swore he had never felt so tired.

The wasp woman was there, too.  She had about the same expression as Levi.  The way they were looking at him made his head hurt… or maybe it was already hurting. 

He felt dizzy, he could feel his body swaying.

If there was one thing he knew right in that instant, it was that he was going to pass out.  It would be a relief.

-

The infirmary was lined with two rows of neatly made, metal framed beds.  The wooden floor was swept, mopped, and polished.  Wood and fabric screens for privacy were folded on their hinges and next to every bed.  The room was large enough to accommodate thirty soldiers at a time and was typically filled beyond capacity after missions with cots packed in wherever they could fit.  This time it housed one patient who wasn’t even a soldier.

He was looking around the room with interest, having woken up not too long before.  His struggle to sit had alerted a soldier standing guard to run from the room presumably to alert a superior officer.  The other three remained tense and wary.

Eren didn’t pay them any particular mind, absently running his hands down the soft cotton sheets as he visually inspected his surroundings.  For the first time in longer than he could remember his thoughts were clear, they came easily.

The sheets on the bed were white and they felt smooth.  The sensation of touching them seemed so amplified.  He followed the lines of his legs, running his hands down to his knees and back.  His feet made tents near the end of the bed and he wiggled his toes, watching the fabric shift and move.  He was aware that none of this should be as fascinating as it was, but it was like he was experiencing the world for the first time.

“So you _are_ awake.”

The voice came from his left, he thought it was his left.  He couldn’t remember precisely which was left and right, but he was reasonably certain it was from his left.

Coming in through the door were three soldiers.  One of which Eren didn’t recognize.

“Hello, Wasp,” he greeted, “Levi… You.”  He probably could have not greeted the third, but that would have been rude.  He had to remember his manners, for some reason.  Although, he honestly couldn’t remember much of what was considered polite at the moment.

Even so, he almost marveled at the sound of his own voice.  It was hoarse from disuse, but it sounded softer and gentler than he thought it should.  It sounded almost… small.  His words were stilted and they were in no hurry to come to him.  He also heard his voice almost too much in his head, as if he were used to it coming from further away.  Which was ridiculous, of course. 

“Wasp?” she balked, physically stepping back and bringing her hand up to her chest.  There was a slight chuckle that Levi barely tried to disguise as a cough and gave up halfway through.

The third one, the tall blond man raised a very thick eyebrow.

“My name is Hange.”  She walked over with the other two, dragging chairs from bedsides so they could seat themselves.

“Wasp.  Definitely a wasp.”  He spoke carefully, focusing intently on forming the correct sounds around the vowels, and struggling with the ‘p’.

The three shared mixed looks of amusement, confusion, and a few other emotions Eren couldn’t remember.  Things subtler which he was reasonably certain he had never been great at picking up on in the first place.

“Why… am I a wasp?” she asked, pinning him with a gaze that was intensely curious, as if his answer would unravel the mysteries of the universe.

“Because you stung me like one… when you were smaller.”

The look the three of them shared was more weighted this time.  Eren could feel there was a tension in the air, despite how much they were trying to pretend there wasn’t.

“Eren, my name is Erwin.  Can you tell me how you got in this bed?”

“No, I was unconscious.” 

Levi’s lips pressed together as if he were trying to keep himself from smiling.

“What I mean is, do you remember what happened before you became unconscious?”

Eren furrowed his brow, trying to catch the dim scraps of memory.  There had been violence.

“I was very… mad.  We were fighting… we were fighting titans!” he shouted the last part, eyes shooting up to Levi in astonishment.  His hands gripped the sheets tightly, fingers curled like wires.  “You were all _tiny_!  Why were you so _tiny_?”

Again, there was another look shared between them, or at least Wasp and Erwin.  Levi just sort of frowned at him.

“Eren, can you tell me about yourself,” Erwin asked gently.  “Where are you from, how old you are…?”

Eren pursed his lips together in thought, trying to recall the details of his life.  He could remember flashes of things that had happened, but he had very little context for any of it.  He had a memory of his mother, hanging their laundry to dry on the upstairs patio.  He remembered studying texts with his father, but he couldn’t recall the subject.  The name of his hometown eluded him, on the tip of his mind, just beyond grasping.

His age ought to be something he should know.  He glanced down at his hands.  They were not the hands of a child, nor were the length of his legs.  His raised a palm to his face and felt the stubble there.  Old enough to shave, apparently.

He knew it wasn’t information he should have to narrow down and he found himself shaking his head before he looked up again.

“I’m sorry… I have no idea about any of that.  I know my name.  It’s Eren Jaeger and my father was a physician of some sort, I think.  My mother… I think she might be dead.”

There was another look between Wasp and Erwin, before the blond patted his leg gently.

“Thank you, Eren.  If you recall anything else, be sure to let us know.”

-

“He must have been born human.  Unless titans study medicine.  The question is how did he become one and then how did he turn back?” Hange mused, sitting on the corner of Erwin’s desk with her chin in her palm and staring at the floor.

“I’m going to the capital to look for information on the last name Jaeger.  We’ll see if any census records pull up a doctor.”

Hange straightened up and twisted to look back at Erwin.

“Census records?  You think anything will come up?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going search as far back as the records go.”

“You think he’s that old?”

“I would prefer to exhaust every possibility.  As of right now, the official story is that we had captured a titan for research and took it outside the walls for an experiment that went poorly and we had to exterminate it.  The only people to actually see Eren emerge from the titan’s neck were you, Levi, and his squad.  We are going to keep this limited to the soldiers stationed here at headquarters, for now.  No one other than senior officers may leave the grounds, and only for supply runs.” Erwin answered, without actually answering Hange’s question.

The Commander obviously expected rumors to fly when they left on their mission with a titan and returned with a young man.  With said young man now a patient in the infirmary, there was no stopping the soldiers from talking amongst themselves.

The self-fashioned scientist squinted at him, as if he were something worthy of study.  The Commander would never admit aloud that it slightly unnerved him.

“You have a theory.”  Hange was like a hound sometimes.  She wouldn’t let something go until she had sniffed it out, even if she was told to stop.  One way or another, she would have her answers.

“I have a theory,” he admitted.

“Well?”

Erwin sighed, leaned back against the worn leather of his chair and stared at a spot in the center of his desk.

“We found him outside the walls.  What evidence do we have that he isn’t originally from outside the walls?”

“You don’t think-”

“That there may be other strongholds of civilization in this world?  Why not?  We only know the history for the last hundred years since humanity retreated inside these walls.  Everything from before is forbidden to be spoken about.  Are we really so sure no one else survived the arrival of the titans?”

-

Eren was attempting to walk down the hall outside the infirmary.  Levi was making an excellent crutch.  He also wasn’t pushing for answers to questions that Eren really should know but didn’t.  The quiet gave him the chance to survey his surroundings.  It was obvious that he was in some sort of military facility.  If the uniforms and weapons weren’t a giveaway, he didn’t know what was.

He had asked if he could go outside and get some fresh air, but when Erwin suggested he try to walk around the halls first, Eren assumed it meant he wasn’t allowed outside. 

It was his second time awake, having fallen asleep again shortly after the first questioning session.  This time, he had been given something to eat, a broth, so maybe something to slurp would be more accurate.  Wasp, Levi, and Erwin were a little too intent as they watched him consume the contents of the bowl and it made him uneasy.  He had no reason to suspect they would poison or otherwise drug his food, but when they watched him as though they had never seen something eat before, it planted a seed of alarm in his mind.

Then there was the issue of his rather troubling recollection of Wasp and Levi being small enough to fit in his hand and everyone else for that matter.  It seemed more reasonable to assume that instead of everyone else having grown in size, he had shrunk.  He also knew he had been fighting titans, except that they hadn’t been so, well, _titanic_. 

He could almost feel a swell of memories pressing against the veil of his mind, but some instinctual part told him they weren’t memories he’d be happy to have back.

His leg gave out suddenly, jerking himself out of his thoughts as his arm flew out in front of himself reflexively.  The flagstones came at him fast, but a strong arm caught him, holding him upright.

“You okay?” Levi asked, deep voice sounding disinterested, but dark eyes stayed on Eren’s face until he clearly had his balance again.

“Thanks, Levi.”  Language was getting easier for him manage and there were shorter pauses between his words as he spent less time searching for the ones he wanted.

He got something like a grunt in reply.

“Do you need to sit down?”

“Maybe not a bad idea.” 

It really wasn’t.  His muscles were burning, it felt like he hadn’t walked in years.  Levi led him a little further down the hall, opening the door to what was clearly a storage room.  There were a couple of windows at the far end which they made their way towards.  Wooden crates were stacked all over the room, but next to the window, there were four arranged so that two were sitting directly atop the crate below them and three more on the floor around.

“Looks like we found someone’s hidey-hole.  How nice of them to build us a table and chairs,” Levi said as he helped Eren sit on one of the makeshift chairs.    

He got a glimpse out the window of trees and stone walls, but not much else.

“They even left us a deck of cards.  Their thoughtfulness knows no bounds.”  The deadpan delivery had Eren glancing upwards at Levi in amusement.  The man was looking at the window ledge, where there was a small stack of what was unsurprisingly, playing cards.  He was lowered with care onto one of the seats, arms sliding away from under his own as he situated himself on the crate as comfortably as he could.

Eren got the sneaking suspicion that someone was going to be in a lot of trouble very soon, once Levi found them.  It certainly had the set-up of a hideout for shirking duties.

“Do you play?” Levi asked conversationally as he began shuffling the deck.

“Occasionally,” he responded, then frowned, “I think.”

“Then you deal,” Levi said, passing the deck over.

The soldier watch as Eren dealt out a card face-down to Levi, fingers a little clumsy as if they weren’t used to finer movements, then dealt a card to himself.  He repeated it two more times until they each had three and then placed the deck between them, taking the top card and flipping it face-up next to the pile.

“What are we playing?”

“Thirty-one.  You know it?”

“I’ve played it.”

The game went slowly the first couple of rounds as they debated the method of play until they could agree on the rules.  Levi played a version that was unfamiliar to him.  Several rounds later, the soldier announced it was time for Eren to get back to his bed as he swept the cards back into a pile and neatly placed the deck back on the windowsill where it had been found.  Probably because he was losing, badly.

The shorter man left his seat and came around to help Eren to his feet.  This time he got a better look out the window as he steadied himself against Levi’s solid weight, leaning heavily for a moment.  He froze as he realized he recognized the courtyard below. 

There were still great metal poles with hefty link chains thrust deeply into the ground.  The chains themselves were attached to spears that ended in points like fish hooks, so that whatever massive thing they were sunk into couldn’t get away.  He _knew_ how effective they were.

The courtyard was large, but from this height, it looked small, exactly as he remembered.  The realization made him sway abruptly on his feet, knocking against Levi.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Eren froze where he was, vision spotted with black dots as he tried to focus.  His hands were clutching at Levi.  Somehow, he had ended up facing the man and his legs must have buckled beneath him, because it was definitely Levi’s cloth covered chest he was trying to focus on.

“Eren?” he heard from above.

He took in a breath, held it, let it out again.  He couldn’t quite figure out what the buttons on Levi’s shirt were made out of.  They were small, white, and had four holes each. 

“Eren!”

Right.  Focus.  He took another breath.

“Levi?  Was I… was I a titan?”

-

Eren was back in his bed, staring dully at the sheets covering his legs and Levi was sitting in a chair beside him with a cup of tea.  His thoughts were swirling around his head, racing so fast it was hard to pick any one out.  Wasp was there, trying to interview him again, buzzing at the foot of his bed where she was seated.

“How did you become a titan?”

There was a memory there, pushing insistently through the veil of his thoughts, but all he could pull from it was an image of heavy dust caught in a stream of sunlight… there were splintered beams of wood surrounding him and he had been looking through what used to be a wall to see people running in the street. 

Without context, he couldn’t put any meaning to it.  He could guess titans were responsible for that glimpse of destruction, but it didn’t necessarily make it true. 

“I don’t remember,” he mumbled.

The wasp looked steadily at him for a moment, then drummed her fingers on the mattress as she began to speak.

“I’ve been fighting titans for years, but this is the first time we’ve ever cut a human out of one.  Then again, you were unusual even when you were a titan.  You _are_ human, aren’t you?”

Eren looked up at her, incredulous.  “Of course, I’m human!”

“Sorry!” she apologized, hands raised placatingly, “It’s just that, well, like I said, you’re the first human we’ve seen that’s also a titan.”

Eren frowned at her.  “What are you talking about?  All titans were humans at one point.”

Her eyes widened and next to him, Levi shifted imperceptively.  He could feel when the air of the room stilled, a sudden strain sprung up as world views loosened and morphed into something new. 

Then the wasp lunged at him and he reared back against his pillows.  Her hands landed on either side of his hips, her pupils widened manically, shrinking the copper-flecked brown of her irises.  Her face centimeters from his own.

“Go on…” she urged quietly, intensely.  He could feel the breath from her words against his skin, spreading across his face, along the bones of his cheeks, tangling through the air in his nose.

He couldn’t keep her gaze, eyes sliding away.  He turned his face towards Levi, who sighed, then reached out a hand to press against the Wasp’s forehead, pushing her back firmly just far enough to where Eren felt he could breathe again.

 She blinked a couple of times, but the gleam in her eyes didn’t lessen.

“Um… humans are turned into titans.  I thought that was common knowledge.” 

“Not inside these walls,” Levi answered at the same time the Wasp asked, “How are humans turned into titans?”

Eren frowned at Levi’s answer before focusing on the question.

“There’s a serum… two serums.  The first one creates the mindless titans.”  He couldn’t say how he knew this, or why he thought everyone knew titans were once people.  He just felt it like a fact of the world as much as grass was green and rain fell from the sky.  “The second serum is meant to retain some sense of self… and to recover the human form…”

“So titans were created by man.  Why?”

That he didn’t know the answer to.  The only thing he was sure of was that he was born into a world where titans already existed and had for as long as anyone could remember.  If they had a purpose originally beyond consuming whatever human crossed their path, he didn’t know it.

“What do you know about the serums?” she asked, when it became clear he couldn’t answer her.

“I don’t know how the first serum is made, but the second one is created by altering the first.”  He had a sense that it was a subject he had once known intimately.  “You’re keeping notes on all this, right?  You should record that a prolonged period spent in the titan state causes amnesia, confusion, and muscular atrophy.”

“Spoken like a scientist,” Wasp murmured, sitting back as she eyed Eren thoughtfully.

He blinked at her, startled.  “I… think my father… he must have been working with the serums.  He used to talk about his work with me...  Make that temporary amnesia.  I believe I can probably recover my memories.”

Funny how this was the information that he could pull up and yet everything else about his life remained a mystery.  Apparently, his existence before could be summarized by facts about serums, as if that was all he had ever known.

“One last question.  Are you able to return to the titan state without another dose of this serum?”

“Once the serum is in your system, it’s there permanently.  There’s no cure.”

-

They were sitting on a bench in the courtyard beneath a shady oak.  The sunlight freckled the ground around them in shifting patterns as the breeze waltzed through the branches above.  Eren was leaning against the backrest, eyes closed while he enjoyed the gentle meanderings of the wind on his skin.  Levi was with him, clearly having been assigned as his guard and keeper.  Unsurprising, since he wouldn’t be keen on allowing a man who could turn into a titan roam freely were he in the same position.  He didn’t particularly mind.  The soldier’s company was pleasant despite his somewhat abrasive personality, or maybe because of it. 

Eren had never been especially skilled at interacting with people who were, for lack of a better term, emotionally delicate.  Maybe sensitive would be a better descriptor.  He could mind his manners, but he couldn’t keep himself from arguing his opinions, and there were plenty of people who took it personally.  It was something he was sure of about himself.

Levi didn’t seem to take much personally.  He appreciated that.  Soldiers had a tendency to get like that after a while and he felt like he had gotten along with people in uniform better.

“Remember when you ripped my gear off and stuck me in that tree over there?”

Eren cracked an eye open to see the soldier pointing at a tall tree a short distance away.  He could feel the corner of his mouth tilt up before he could stop it.  It was a blurry memory at best, but he did recall something of the sort.

“It wasn’t funny, you little shit.”

“I apologize.  I wasn’t myself.”  He raised his hands up in supplication, grin splitting his mouth wide as Levi snorted at his joke.

“Next time you’re a titan, I’m cutting off all your fingers.”

It seemed it was expected that he transform back at some point.  He wasn’t surprised.  He would want to study it, too, until he knew all there was to know about it.  Know thy enemy as thyself and all that.

“You could do it now, they’ll grow back.  Although I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

Levi’s eyebrows raised as he looked at Eren’s hands.

“Like a lizard?  Disgusting.”

“Then we’re agreed, you’ll leave my fingers alone.”

There was a huff of breath that may or may not have been agreement.

“When does the Wasp want me to transform again?”

Levi shrugged, leaning back against the bench next to him, affecting an air of repose, but Eren could see that every muscle was ready to spring to action the instant he moved in the wrong way.  He seemed to be privately amused at Eren’s nickname.

“I’m sure it won’t be long.  She gets impatient.”

“I got that impression.” His eyes slid back over to the soldier next to him.  Humanity’s Strongest.  He was currently acting as though he was unaware of Eren’s visual inspection.  Fine by him, it meant he could look as much as he pleased.  Or at least until the soldier got irritated enough by it.

The man was short, more apparent now that Eren himself was of a height to appreciate a difference of centimeters.  He was also firmly muscled everywhere that one could be, as near as Eren could tell through the stretch of the man’s clothes as he moved, or when he served as a crutch to assist Eren with walking.  None of that was surprising, considering that all the soldiers he had seen needed to be in peak physical condition to operate their gear.  Levi just wore it better.

Or maybe it was the attention to his appearance.  The man took care to wear a clean uniform, free of stains and tears daily.  His boots were oiled and only had the light covering of dust from their walk, no other trace of mud or dirt.  His hair was washed and combed, he was neatly shaven, and even his fingernails were free of the perpetual grime that came from working and fighting with one’s hands.  Altogether, the man was fastidious in his appearance.    

“Why do you keep rubbing the bench?  Are you some kind of weirdo?”

Eren blinked stupidly for a moment, looking down to see that he was, in fact, running his hand back and forth along the bench, the rough texture of the rough wood grain beneath his fingertips previously unnoticed.  There was a thin coat of lacquer coating the planks to preserve them from the elements, accentuating the tiny ribs of fiber running the length of the board.  Once he realized he was doing it, he forced himself to stop.

He raised his head back to Levi and looked him dead in the eye.

“I can transform into a fifteen-meter-tall titan, what do you think?”

The soldier’s mouth twitched upwards at the corners and he let out a soft snort.

-

“All right Eren, are you ready?” Wasp asked.  They were in the courtyard again, this time ringed by armed soldiers. 

He nodded.  They wanted him to transform and while they were polite about it, Eren was fairly certain that he didn’t actually have a choice in the matter.  Not that he was bothered by that.  Transforming was easy enough.  He had seen it done before, he knew, but couldn’t recall the details of whom or the circumstances.  He had the sense he had seen it happen many times, which wouldn’t be surprising if he had worked with the serums as he suspected. 

A minor injury was required, large enough to stimulate the brain to kick on the body’s healing, or more accurately, regenerative ability.  The serum served to amplify that to an insane degree, among its other properties.  The second key to transforming was to have a specific purpose in mind, a single thought to focus on because the process itself was so disorienting that it was easy to go into a purely emotional state.  Rage was most typical, since anger was a natural response to injury.  Single-minded determination on a purpose was therefore absolutely necessary, since a berserking titan was trouble for everyone.

“Stand back,” he warned, meeting first Levi’s gaze, then the Wasp’s.  They took his advice to heart, moving quickly to stand amongst the other soldiers, ready to cut him down the moment he acted in a manner they disapproved of.  How odd to be on this side of the proceedings.

He raised his unmarred hand to his mouth and looked across to Levi, whose gaze was heavy on him.  He kept eye contact, mind focusing on his task of lifting wooden beams to the roof of the castle-turned-headquarters.  They needed to do some repairs and it presented a simple enough test for the brunette scientist.  It saved the soldiers the trouble of rigging a pulley system for the job if he did the heavy lifting for them.  Two birds, one stone.

He opened his mouth and moved his hand between his teeth a little amused at the slight distaste he saw on Levi’s face and bit down.

There was a crack, loud and echoing and then he was enveloped.

When he opened his eyes, the familiar distortion of vision struck him, like looking through warped glass.  He immediately sought out Levi, finding the tiny warrior looking back up at him.

He held his eyes for a long moment, ignoring the shouting buzz from the woman next to Levi. 

“Well?  Get to it,” the Captain urged.

Right.  He had a task to perform.  Quick as a snake, he reached out and scooped up Levi, raising him up to deposit him on top of the building.  When the tiny warrior’s boots gently touched the roof, Eren let go and brought his giant face close so that he was eye level.  He had an urge to nuzzle the tip of his nose against that little chest.

“You’re an idiot in this form, aren’t you?”

He let out a huff of steam and tilted his head.  Levi sighed, hands going to his gear to shoot out his wires with a click.  He was gone in a blink, then there was a piercing jolt of pain in his neck and he felt himself being pulled.  His senses warped, like he was being lifted from a watery depth to open air.

There was a strong arm around his stomach, and he felt a weightlessness as the ground sped close.  His descent slowed and the trajectory altered and then they were on solid ground.  He legs slumped beneath him, but he was held steady.

He weakly grabbed at a muscled arm, fingers skittering along the cotton fabric until he could curl them in a semblance of a grasp.  He was shifted around and his head fell back, carefully caught in a palm and raised until he could see Levi’s face looking down at him with vague concern.

“The serum was never perfected,” Eren said, some dim part of him feeling an explanation was necessary even as his vision went dark.

-

The second attempt went more smoothly and Eren was able to complete it after only an hour of rest from the first trial.  He was laying on the bench when he woke up the second time, head resting on a soft lap.  His gaze travelled from a stomach up the torso of his pillow, surprised to see a swelling of a feminine chest.  He could feel the flush of his cheeks even as his vision steadied on delicate features framed by feathery red hair.

His head was being pet, not unlike a dog.

“Petra…”

“Mmm?” she hummed, attention pulled from her book, judging by the soft rustle of pages above the top of his head.  “Hello, Eren,” she smiled down at him.

“Where’s Levi?”

“He went to go get you something to eat.  He should be back in a moment.” 

Eren nodded with a yawn, and attempted to sit up.  His arms felt weak and every muscle ached, including the ones he didn’t know he had.  His struggle did not go unnoticed and a surprisingly firm hand fell on his shoulder and pushed him back down.

“Stay.  There’s no sense in pushing yourself when you’re already so exhausted.”

He didn’t have the strength to press the issue, so he complied. 

True to her word, Levi arrived a few, long minutes later with a tray of food.  This time Petra helped him to sit and Levi settled onto the bench on his other side, sliding the tray onto Eren’s lap.

Eren looked down to see a plate with a solitary baby carrot dwarfed by an entire loaf of bread and a sprinkling of water in a cup to the side.  He stared at it.  He could feel Petra staring at it.  He slid his tongue across his front teeth, mouth still closed and turned to face the captain, who must have been shitting him.  The man was looking back at him impassively.

He wasn’t sure how he was meant to play this.

“Thank you for the entire loaf of bread.”

“Is there something wrong with it?”  There was something in the way the captain said it, the question a little too casual.  Obviously, he knew this was a ridiculous meal to present to someone.

“No, there is nothing wrong with this entire loaf of bread or the single baby carrot.  That drop of water looks refreshing.”

“Glad to hear it.”

There was a long moment where the two men stared at each other.

Then, Petra stood up and jerked the tray away, “Honestly, Captain!”  They watched her stride away, clearly intent on remedying the contents of the tray.  When she was gone, Levi turned back to Eren.

“What’s your obsession with picking me up?”

That probably explained the bizarre meal.

He shrugged in response.  “What’s your obsession with cutting off my fingers?”

He couldn’t really explain the actions he took as a titan.  Some part instinct, some part cognitive thought, and a third irrational part that couldn’t be characterized by either.  It was probably obvious to the entire legion of soldiers that his titan self was preoccupied with their esteemed captain.  He was suddenly acutely aware that his human self entirely failed to remedy that conception. 

It didn’t matter that Levi was his assigned keeper.  Not when he found himself constantly looking at the man.  The Captain had a way of capturing his attention like no one else, and he had caught the way the other soldiers looked at them, at Eren, a few times. 

They thought he was infatuated.  It was hard not to be transfixed, though, when Levi used his gear.  Battle prowess had never failed to impress him, after all.

 “When we saw you outside the wall the first time, you were completely focused on fighting the other titans.  Any time you’re near another one, you go berserk.”

Eren could recognize that this wasn’t a casual observance, but a question.  He was silent a long time, bubbles of memory floating up to the surface and failing to break through.  Most of his life was reduced to vague snippets: his mother’s face, his father’s voice, the fear of a man-devouring enemy that could be unleashed at any time.  Which suggested to him that there had been some means of controlling them, his mind tripping around the concept of unleashing. 

His recollection was constantly being jogged, but it was primarily small, innocuous things.  He had lived on the same street as a bakery.  He used to feed a cat outside his back door.  He wasn’t sure if it was a pet or a stray.  Occasionally, he would remember things about what he assumed had been his work.  Those memories were typically the clearest and he assumed they were probably more recent, if not the most important to him. 

“The second titan serum was designed as a means to fight back,” he said, looking down at his hands, loosely clasped between his knees.  The idea that it had been a defensive weapon was firm in his mind.  “I don’t know why I was injected with it.  Maybe we were experimenting on ourselves?  That doesn’t seem right to me for some reason…”

“It’s injected?” Levi asked, looking for all the world like Eren had been commenting on the weather.

“Yes, with a syringe.  Ten milliliters into the spine…” he trailed off, suddenly sitting up ramrod straight, eyes wide.  He had a vibrant image in his mind of doing exactly that to a volunteer test subject.  A young man with a long face and hair that was bleached on top from too much time in the sun.  He had been stripped to the waist in only standard issue pants and socks… standard issue of what?

“I was on the team developing it,” Eren breathed. 

“Then I guess we hit the jackpot when we found you,” Levi commented, examining his fingernails and seemingly oblivious to the magnitude of Eren’s world shattering revelation.

Their attention was diverted with the return of Petra, who was carrying the tray with a balanced meal on it.  She set it gently on Eren’s lap with a smile that belied how quick she would be to turn her blades on him if he got out of hand. 

“So, you’re a physician,” Levi started, once Eren’s meal had been consumed and Petra had left with the empty tray, leaving the two of them alone again.

Eren frowned.  He couldn’t recall any memories of treating patients.

“My father was.”  That was an immutable fact of his existence.  One of the very few things he was certain of.  “He must have trained me, I know we had gone over medical texts together.”

Levi hummed and looked up at the sky.

“It’s about time to get you in bed for the night.  You’ll need your rest for tomorrow.  Hange has a list of things for you to do.”

Eren glanced up at the noon sun, shining brightly from its zenith.  “If I’m boring you, find someone else to keep an eye on me.”

“Boring?  You’re the most interesting thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

-

“I wish I could have him do a handstand,” Hange announced.  They were in the field behind the castle, Hange, Levi, a contingent of soldiers, and a transformed Eren. 

Levi turned his head slowly to look at the scientist-soldier.  “Why?” He sounded like he was expecting a ridiculous response.

She shrugged, “Have you ever seen a titan do a handstand?”

“No.”

“That’s why.”

Eren watched them, massive head resting on gigantic folded hands.  He was on his stomach, lazing in the late morning sun. 

“Did you actually have a reason to haul us all out here?  I have better things to do.  _Eren_ has better things to do and all he does in sit in the infirmary and watch the dust settle.”

“And your better things to do are watch him watch the dust?” Hange teased, “It’s a beautiful day.  We should at least be out enjoying the weather.”

Eren adjusted until he was leaning his head on just one hand, while surreptitiously extending the other towards the two squad leaders.  As surreptitious as a fifteen-meter-tall titan can be, anyway.

“I’m going inside,” Levi responded, pulling out a blade lightning quick to point at Eren’s hand without bothering to give any other indication that he had noticed the creeping appendage.  Then the other hand came sneaking towards the Captain.

This time, the tiny warrior turned to look at the titan.  Eren made an expression that could have arguably been called ‘innocent’ if one squinted and was actually looking at an infant and not a titan.

“Don’t leave, Eren will get lonely!”

Levi looked back to Hange to respond, and Eren lifted his right hand so that only two fingers were on the ground and ‘walked’ them closer.

“What the hell are you doing?” Levi swung back around without saying anything to Hange.  Those two fingers took a couple more steps, but were halted when a sharp blade sliced the air in front of their path.  Eren knew that Levi could have carved his fingers off if he chose to.

He began to walk the fingers of his other hand behind Levi, who quickly brandished his other blade behind him.  If anything, since he had regained human form, the Captain seemed less inclined to cut into him as a titan. 

He huffed out a breath and began to scratch in the dirt.

**D A T E ?**

“What?” Levi sputtered, incredulous and blushing.  Eren thought hard.  It was easier for words to come to his mind as a titan now that he had recovered his human form and was forced to use language again. 

**F I G H T   T I T A N S.**

“You have a one-track mind when you get that big, don’t you?” Hange asked, amused.

Eren turned pleading eyes to the Captain.

“No.”

**P L E A S E ?**

“Not until you can prove you won’t lose control.”

He wasn’t sure how he was meant to do that.  Regardless, it didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon. 

“I’ll make a deal with you Eren,” Hange said, butting in, “You cooperate with me on all my experiments and I’ll make sure you get to fight titans.  We’ll sort out that issue of self-control.”

Eren turned his giant eyes and studied her, unblinking.  There was a long moment where he did nothing, then wrote.

**D E A L.**

At least it gave him something to look forward to.  He let the fingers of his other hand walk towards Levi, who watched them warily.  Eren lifted one and extended it to gently bump the man.

**I T ’ S  A  D A T E.**

“You’re both idiots,” he groused, but his face was turning red again.  Eren grinned.  All he had to do was do what the Wasp wanted and he and Levi could go and fight titans together again.  Transformed, he had no loftier goals than that.

Besides, going along with the Wasp’s experiments should be easy.

-

It was not easy.  It was not easy at all.

Eren coughed as he was ripped from the back of his titan’s neck viciously.  It wasn’t Levi, he could tell from the way he was roughly handled before he ever saw the man’s face.

“What the hell is _wrong with you_?”

He recognized the voice.  One of the men from Levi’s squad, the one that always tried to emulate the Captain.

Eren felt his head roll back, completely beyond his control.  He tried to remember what just happened, what he had been trying to do in his titan form.  It seemed he spent most of his time these days trying recall everything he did.

He was dimly aware that it was raining again.  There were drops hitting his face.  He felt himself being shaken and his head rolled again.  This time he caught a glimpse of broken carts, smashed to pieces in the mud.  A horse was still tethered to one, rearing up and mindless with terror.

There was a whirring of wires and then, Levi’s voice, “That’s enough Auruo.”

“But Captain, this monster almost _killed_ her!”

_Monster._

It echoed in his mind, shaking loose the things he’d rather stay hidden. 

The first time he had been called that, he had begun research on the second serum.

The last time he had been called that, he killed the man he might have loved.

Funny how a word can trigger memory.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just say that I had not intended to get into Eren's backstory, but an idea struck me and I'm an impulsive person.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. For whatever reason, whenever July pops around, my writing ceases. It didn't help that I was gone for the whole month and lost my computer adapter on the way out so I had to buy a new one when I got home. I really have no excuse for August other than familial commitments.
> 
> This chapter is also wildly different in tone from the first. Sorry? This chapter is more serious.
> 
> EDIT: This chapter contains an additional pairing for Eren. IT IS NOT THE MAIN PAIRING. It is a relationship that has happened in the past, and I have included it for a reason. EREN/LEVI IS THE MAIN PAIRING. Some of you have already told me you will quit reading this because of this other pairing, and that's fine. I have quit reading stories myself when a pairing I absolutely don't like comes up.

Eren had been attending to physicals, making sure that only the fittest individuals passed through their initial screening. 

They usually assessed around a dozen at a time.  One by one, taking soldiers into makeshift exam rooms of curtains stretched across metal frames as they temporarily took over the building for the day.  Eren wasn’t certain what function the space typically had, but when their group of scientists needed an area to pull the soldiers in for screenings, the military would sweep aside regular operations to give it to them.

He had a fresh exam form on his clipboard, the previous soldier’s file on top of the stack of the desk he had been provided with in the small square of curtains.  He had called for the next one and was tossing the previous exam table sheet in the laundry bin in the corner after replacing it with a clean one.

“Corporal Kirstein reporting, sir.”

“Strip to your underwear and get on the exam table,” Eren said as he turned around, reaching for his clipboard.

There was a noticeable pause and Eren looked up at the soldier to see what the problem was when the man gave him a lopsided smirk.

“Yes, doctor.”  The man’s smile only stretched wider as he removed his shirt, inching it up to show off his army-issued six pack, which Eren only gave a cursory glance before addressing the form on his clipboard.  Preliminary heights and weights had been taken and he needed to double check that the data on his form was for the soldier on his table.

“Name?”

“Jean Kirstein,” the soldier answered as the shirt was pulled over his head with swagger.

“Date of birth?”

“April seventh, I’m twenty-six, single not married…” Jean supplied, grabbing his belt and quickly undoing it before slowly popping the buttons on his pants open one by one.

“What about you, doctor?”

“What about me?” Eren asked, verifying Jean’s information.

“Name, age, single?”

Eren paused, pen hovering above his sheet.  He looked up, meeting the soldier’s eyes for the first time.  Jean gave him a predatory grin, shoving his pants down before lifting a foot to kick off the pants leg, smile faltering a little when his foot stuck.

“You forgot to take off your boots,” Eren pointed out, dryly. 

To his credit, it only tripped up Kirstein for a few minutes, as he untied and toed off his boots and finished removing his pants.  He hefted himself up on the exam table and took a moment to regain his confidence.

“Open your mouth,” Eren instructed, stepping towards the table with a tongue depressor in hand and stethoscope around his neck.

“You never answered me,” Jean said, before complying.

He rolled his eyes before responding, “Mouth.  Open.”

Jean gave him a pointed look that would have been more effective if he didn’t have a stick holding his tongue down in his widely gaping mouth. 

Eren ignored it, checking the soldier’s tongue and tonsils before tossing the little wooden stick into the trashcan.  Jean waited until Eren had checked his ears before he spoke again.

“You look young for a doctor...”

Eren didn’t bother to warm the end of the stethoscope before pressing it to the soldier’s chest. 

“Deep breath,” he instructed over Jean’s surprised yelp.

-

Eren shot up with a choking gasp, eyes wild and unseeing as his fingers scrabbled across the blanket, wrenching himself away from the memory. 

“Easy,” a low voice urged and strong, firm hands fell on his shoulders, sliding up his neck slowly until they rested on either side of his face.  There was a soft grunt as his own hands hit something solid before gripping tightly.

Carefully, his face was guided towards his left and as his vision cleared and his lungs slowed, he saw Levi staring back at him. 

“You with me?” Levi asked with measured calm.  His eyes, by contrast, were sharp and searching.

Eren took another deep breath before he nodded, albeit weakly.

It was a moment before he realized they were not in the infirmary.  Nor was he on a bed.

“Where…” his throat squeezed shut and he had to wait a moment before he tried again, “Where are we?”

“My quarters,” Levi answered, hands sliding away as the man shifted backwards.  The soldier couldn’t have moved further away without struggle, with the way his fingers were clutching at Levi’s arm and side tightly, knuckles white.  It took conscious effort for him to relax his grip and with some amount of guilt, he realized the Captain would probably bruise.

“Sorry.”

Levi gave him a look he couldn’t read before sighing and rocking back on his heels.

The shorter man dropped his hands to his thighs and pushed himself up to stand, taking a few short steps to a chair perpendicular to the couch Eren now realized he was on.  The captain settled himself on the seat, one ankle crossed over the other knee and right elbow balanced on the chair’s arm, head resting in his hand.  Levi almost appeared bored, staring at the man who had taken up residence on his couch. 

Eren twisted to put both feet firmly on the ground, then sat up and leaned forward to put his head in his hands.  He could hear Auruo’s words, echoed in another voice.  Could see them, written across a page in bold typeset.

“How’s Petra?” Eren asked, without looking up.  He felt tired and it wasn’t from the transformation.  This exhaustion went back further than he could currently recall, wrapped around his bones and seeping in to the marrow.

“Broken wrist, a few bruises.  She had the reins wrapped around her hands when the horses got spooked.  As much her own fault as anyone’s.”

He tilted his head up, allowing his fingers to drag along his face and inclined his gaze towards Levi.

“Other casualties?”

“Not unless you want to count frayed nerves.”

He nodded and leaned back heavily against the couch, arms raising up to rest across the back of the couch.  His eyes were trained on the floor, but his mind was swirling around the memories that had forced their way through the fog.

It had been the morning after the official announcement that they had successfully synthesized the second serum.  He had been at the table in the kitchen for breakfast and had reached for the newspaper, unrolling it to see the headline.

They had called them monsters, and below that, a picture of the research team.  He had been standing next to his father and he remembered thinking how neither one of them had looked proud.  They had been grim and determined, knowing full well they had birthed demons. 

“When you are fighting a war of Hell, you make use of its soldiers…” he heard himself saying, nearly surprising himself with his own voice.

“What’s that?” Levi asked, asking for elaboration rather than having not heard.  The Captain’s gaze was hot on the side of his face, lazily burning slow holes.

“…Something my father had said once,” he responded, distantly.

His mother had been angry, grabbing the paper away and cursing the press.  No one under their roof was under any delusion about the necessity of their work.  Morality was something that could bury them in guilt after they survived.  If they survived.

As he finally met Levi’s eyes, he realized not much had changed.

-

Walking was easier now.  The muscles in his legs were stronger and he didn’t need to lean on Levi for support.  Running was still out of the question, but walking he could do.  Even so, his treks were always accompanied by Levi. 

His interaction with the rest of the legion was limited, especially now that experiments on his transformed state were on temporary hiatus.  The Wasp was holed up in her study with her assistant, poring over notes until she decided on a new strategy for teaching his titan self some discipline.

It made his mind tingle with a sense of déjà vu.  Although, he supposed that he probably had, in fact, encountered this same problem before, but as the scientist rather than the test subject.  He wondered if he had ever come up with a solution.

They passed a window and Eren could see that the rain was falling just as heavily as it had when he had gotten up that morning.  He paused briefly to look out it towards the castle’s outer wall where the main gate was. 

He had been informed that Commander Smith would be returning within the week, having completed whatever business had taken him elsewhere.  Eren had only met the man once, when he had first awoken in the infirmary, but it was no stretch of the imagination to assume that the business that had caused the Commander to leave was directly related to himself.  Therefore, he had reason to be interested in the man’s return.

“Expecting visitors?” Levi asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Why would I want anyone else’s company when you’re so personable?”

It was a venomless jab.  They were both aware that he actually didn’t mind the Captain’s company.  His titan self certainly didn’t.  His vague recollection of those particular events were enough to make him cringe in humiliation if he lingered too long on them.  It wasn’t something to dwell on while in Levi’s presence.

“You’re worse than I am.  At least your titan is friendly when it’s not being a gigantic asshole.”

They had taken to referring to his titan self almost as a separate entity.  It felt like it, like a machine he operated.  _A machine I operate while blackout drunk might be a better description_ , he thought darkly before focusing back on the Captain’s words.

He looked sideways at Levi, and could feel the amusement tug at the corner of his mouth.

“What are you trying to say?”

“You’re mopey and a fucking weirdo.”  Eren personally felt brooding would have been a more flattering term than mopey.  The weirdo part was tough to deny.

“Charmer.”  It was a flippant response.

“Your titan seems to think so.”

Eren felt the stab of embarrassment right in the center of his chest and when he glanced over at the smirking man next to him, he could feel the warmth of his own cheeks.  It was the first time Levi had directly mentioned that while transformed, Eren couldn’t seem to help… flirting with him.  This was probably payback for that.

He huffed out an irritated breath and started walking away, leaving Levi to catch up.  He swore there was an aura of smugness radiating from behind him.

-

“It occurred to me that I should be asking you if you had any ideas,” the Wasp said, sliding into the seat across from him.  Her conversational tone cut through the low hum of chatter around them from the soldiers breaking for lunch.  Levi sat next to Eren, meal consumed and dishes stacked neatly on his tray as he waited for Eren to finish his.

“About what?” he asked dumbly, trying to catch onto the conversation.

“On what we can do about your little _control_ issue.”  The way she said it almost made it sound like she had another meaning behind it, but before he could ask she had already continued, “I’ve been going over my notes on you, but then I realized, you have more experience on this locked up in that head of yours.”  Her fork was pointing at his forehead and it took some effort for him to uncross his eyes from the tines that were uncomfortably close to his eye to focus on her.

“My memories aren’t exactly… on demand.”

“Is that from spending too long as a titan?” she wondered aloud, more to herself than as a serious inquiry.

He shrugged and Levi raised a hand to grip the scientist’s wrist to gently pull the fork away from his face. 

“Well?  Anything in there that might help?” Levi asked as he relaxed.

He could feel blossoms of heat unfurl on his face as he opened his mouth to reply, “When I’m transformed, I… respond… better to Levi.”  He tried to shift his mind into a factual state, forcing it away from emotions to analyze logically.  It was extraordinarily difficult with the way the man’s eyes were trained on him, storm cloud gray in this lighting.  “Therefore, he should be my handler.”

“…So what does that entail?” Levi asked, picking up his teacup and eyeing him over the rim as the soldier took a sip.

“You’re practically doing the job already,” he shrugged, swirling his fork through his mashed potatoes absently, “but while I’m transformed, you should remain close, relaying orders and be in a position to stab me, my real body that is, to redirect my attention.”

There was a noticeable pause before Levi carefully spoke.  It was long enough for Eren to realize with a start that casually telling someone to be prepared to stab you was likely going to be alarming to them at best.

Humanity’s Strongest, however flew past that, apparently unconcerned and focused on something he hadn’t quite seen coming.   

“You want me to ride you?”  There was a disinterest in the way it was said that belied the trace of amusement around the Captain’s eyes. 

“Essentially,” he began to plow on, ignoring the bait, because that’s what it was. 

“Any penetrate him with your sword, Levi,” The Wasp added, looking like she was trying not to snigger. 

Eren supposed with some irritation that soldiers were essentially the same, no matter what uniform they wore.  Talk of maiming and killing failed to bat an eye because it was so commonplace but they never failed to make a joke about sex, which was often a rarer occurrence. 

He cleared his throat to snap their attention back before the whole conversation spiraled hopelessly out from underneath him.  “If we want to tackle the issue of my control, we need to figure out what my triggers are when I’m transformed.  We can start by having me transform and pinning me down like you did before…”

Unexpectedly, he found himself rebelling against the idea, despite knowing the necessity of it.  Being restricted and unable to move both literally and metaphorically was abhorrent to him, it always had been.

The Wasp was looking at him now with an expression he rarely saw on her face.  Her eyebrows pinched towards each other and she looked not exactly guilty, but something near there.  He realized his distaste must have been apparent on his face.

“I’m… sorry about that,” she started, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.  His discomfort was the least concern considering that she had only been trying to learn everything she could about an enemy that was incapable of an interest in peace.

He supposed he should make an effort to stop thinking about her as a Wasp, then.

“Never mind that.  I want you to pin me down and try to make me go berserk.  When we know my titan’s triggers, we can plan how to deal with them.”  Logically, it was about the best they could hope to do with the available technology and resources, but it didn’t mean he was looking forward to it.

“I can do that,” she affirmed, her mind obviously buzzing with details as she began planning the next session.

That decided, Eren looked back towards the rest of his lunch, determined to finish it even though his appetite had fled.

-

“You’re moping again,” Levi said sitting down next to him and throwing an arm across the back of the bench. 

He turned his head just enough to look the soldier in the eye, unimpressed with the assessment. 

“Brooding is what you meant.”

“Same thing,” Levi shrugged the shoulder of the arm that wasn’t currently resting behind his back.

“Bored teenagers mope.  Mysterious, handsome scientists brood.”

The Captain’s head turned towards him just enough to give him a narrowed eyed look.

“Handsome?”

Eren shrugged, but couldn’t quite keep the corner of his mouth down.  Levi gave a snort at his expression, turning his head back to gaze out over the evening courtyard.  In the morning, they would start their first attempt enraging and subsequently redirecting Eren’s titan.

It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again and when the silence was broken, it was by Levi.

“Did all of you scientists experiment on yourselves or are you just special?”

Eren’s grin was quicker this time, amused by the soldier’s tone which would have sounded derisive coming from anyone else.  With Levi, it was just how he talked.  Eren didn’t think he meant to sound as insulting as he did.  Then again, Eren had never been particularly bothered by the mannerisms of others as long as they didn’t go out of their way to degrade his fundamental beliefs.

“We didn’t.  If all the scientists experimented on themselves and something went wrong, that’d be the end of the program.”

“So, you’re just special.  Or were you bad at your job and this was their way of telling you that you were fired?”

Eren laughed out loud at that.  Levi’s jokes, he was learning, had a tendency to sound like he was trying to goad someone into a fight.

“No, if I was bad at my job, my father would have kicked me off the team so I didn’t ruin his research.”

“Your father?”

“Team lead.”

Levi nodded his head and silence momentarily fell on them again as a soft breeze twined between them.  When Eren spoke again, it was quieter with an edge of frustration.

“I can’t remember what happened that led to me being a shifter and I don’t know if the reason I don’t seem to have control is because of how long I spent transformed.” 

However long that may have been.  Eren frowned down at his hands.  He had more than a strong suspicion that everyone he had known was long dead.  Whether his country still existed he didn’t know.  Hell, he could still be in it and the world he found himself in was what had scrabbled out of the ruins.  From what he had gathered, local history did not extend beyond one hundred years.  It was hard to discern what had happened when all he had were a handful of his own half-formed memories slowly trickling back and the limits of the castle’s soldiers for information about the rest of the world.

He must have been glaring at his hands for too long, because when the Captain spoke again, he realized how much harder they were to see in the dimming light.

“You don’t have a choice.  You have to do it,” Levi said, abruptly.  It shook him back to the present and with some surprise he realized he felt some amount of gratitude towards the soldier next to him for putting things in black and white terms.  There were a lot of problems he could invent about his current situation, legitimate or not, but there was only one he had to worry about focusing on right now. 

It made everything simpler.

There wasn’t much point concerning himself about where he was or what happened, because there wasn’t anything he could do to change either.  His memories would come back or they wouldn’t and he was certain that either end would come with its own share of grief.

Right now, he only had one real problem to focus on and that was gaining control of his titan self.

“I’m aware.  Tomorrow, don’t hesitate.  No matter what,” Eren said, pushing himself to his feet.

“I never do.” 

-

“Nervous?” Levi asked next to him as they watched the soldiers scurry around, getting themselves and their equipment into position.  Eren recognized the ballistae-type weapons, fitted with hooks and cables rather than ordinary projectiles. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Of course, I am,” he answered with a smile that looked anything but.

Levi snorted at him, amused.  It caused Eren’s smile to flash wider for a split second. 

“If you fuck up, we all die.”

“Hush!  You’re not making it better,” Eren chastised without any real heat behind it.  His stomach was clenching uncomfortably in anticipation.  He _knew_ in a way that suggested there was some hidden memory behind it that this would take multiple efforts.  Yet, despite the nerves, he was in a good mood, which considering what he was about to go through, was almost obscene.  These soldiers probably all thought he was insane.

“I’m not here to coddle you.”

Eren’s eyes slid over to the Captain, looking bored and sipping a cup of early morning tea.  Despite the man’s words, Eren got the distinct sense that Levi was trying to ease his tension, in the most backwards and ineffectual way possible. 

The man was not built to provide relief in the typical means. 

Still, it was reassuring having him there, which he suspected Levi probably knew.   If anyone could neutralize his titan quickly, it was the Captain.  He refused to consider that his mood might be directly related to the same man standing next to him, giving a terrible attempt at comfort.

“Looks like they’re ready,” Levi said after a moment.

“Should I pretend I need to concentrate a little longer so you can finish your tea?”

The Captain tilted his head up and gave him a look Eren wasn’t entirely sure how to interpret, but thought it was probably the shorter man trying to judge whether or not that was a joke.

“Sure.” 

He put on his best serious contemplative scientist face and waited until the Captain finally tipped the cup all the way back before he knelt down to spread himself prone on the ground.

The idea was that as soon as he transformed, the gathered soldiers would immediately set about pinning him to the ground and then Hange could begin her horror show of antiquated torture.  Or she would babble about titans long enough until he lost his cool, since that seemed to be more effective. 

He tilted his head to the side and watched the Captain walk away to make sure he was clear of the blast of steamed air that accompanied a transformation before turning his head to catch Hange’s eye, confirming she was also ready. 

With a huff of nervous breath, he brought his hand up to his mouth and bit.

-

Eren stood leaning in the corner of the office, arm pinning a folder against his chest, leaving Grisha to chat easily with the Colonel.  Apparently, they were old acquaintances.  The desk between the two men was utilitarian, much like the rest of the office.  Military bland and impersonal, because tax payers did not pay for comfort and luxuries.  The only hint of the man’s personality were the four or five potted plants scattered to catch various angles of sunlight from the window.  Also, presumably the photo frame that was turned away from Eren’s view.

Of all the potential candidates, they had screened two weeks prior, there was only one in the current crop that was selected.  That was the norm, the battery of tests was designed to weed out most.

It just so happened to be the one who had unimpressively attempted to flirt with him.  It was Corporal Kirstein they were waiting on, actually, to inform him that he would be admitted into the titan program. 

A sharp rap on the door alerted them to his arrival.

“Come in,” the Colonel -Eren had forgotten his name- answered.

The door opened and the tall soldier stepped into the office, closing the door behind him before snapping to attention with a salute and stating, “Sir, Corporal Kirstein reports.”

“At ease, Kirstein, take a seat,” the man said, waving towards the chair next to Grisha’s.

Jean quickly followed the instruction, all attention on his superior officer and still failing to notice Eren was behind him in the corner.

“Corporal, this is Dr. Jaeger.  Welcome to the titan program.”

The soldier looked at Grisha with some confusion, before Eren realized why.

“Is something wrong,” Grisha asked.

“Sorry, I thought Dr. Jaeger was-”

“Me?” Eren spoke up and watched Jean’s head whip around, startled.  That was a little funny to watch, even if he didn’t show it on his face. 

“Eren is my son,” Grisha clarified, before switching his attention, “Eren, I’ll trust you to oversee Kirstein’s transfer to our facility.  Can you get him ready to go?”

He gave a quick nod to his father and then moved to open the door, looking back at the soldier expectantly.  “Coming?”

Kirstein gave him an unreadable look before swinging his head back to the Colonel, he waved him off with an answering, “Dismissed.” The soldier quickly stood, saluted, and followed Eren out of the office, leaving the two older men to catch up.

“So, your name’s Eren?” Jean said once he caught up.

Since the answer was obvious, Eren felt no obligation to answer the question, instead saying, “We’re leaving at 1300 hours, that should give you enough time to pack up your belongings.  I need to get a few last signatures on your transfer paperwork, meet outside the dining facility at 1230.  We’ll be leaving from there.  Make sure you have everything you need, this is a permanent transfer.”

“Yes, sir.”

A smirk briefly touched a corner of his mouth helplessly.  One thing he had appreciated about the soldiers that entered the program was that they followed orders so readily. 

“You can call me Jean, by the way,” Kirstein added with a slight grin.

“No.”

Kirstein’s mouth pursed with what may have been frustration or exasperation.  Eren wasn’t certain.  Either way, the Corporal hadn’t been chosen for his ability to flirt, or lack thereof and he had no intention of permitting the man to think he had been accepted for anything beyond meeting their strict criteria.

“Right.  Well, then, I’ll see you in a couple of hours, Eren,” the soldier said, deliberately using his first name in what was probably a statement of his intention to not give up. 

Eren turned to actually look him in the eye, but Kirstein was already turning to walk down another hallway, presumably towards his dorm.

“Don’t be late.”

Jean turned back to answer with a lopsided smile, “I wouldn’t dream of making you wait, doctor.”

-

“That’s probably good for the day,” Hange’s voice said through a pool of water.  Someone nearby groaned.  No… that was him.  He tried to open his eyes and failed.  His head was muddy… it was hard to think.  The memory of Jean’s cocky grin was floating behind his eyelids and it wasn’t something he was up to facing quite yet.

Someone was holding him, or at least part of him.  Strong arms were under his, supporting his upper half.  His legs felt like they were on the ground, certainly something hard and cool at any rate.

He tried again to open his eyes, this time succeeding.

Hange was _not_ underwater.  Too bad, it would have made things more interesting.  It might even have distracted him from his steaming missing hand or the young soldier’s voice haunting his memory.

She was crouched down in front of him, watching intently.

“So, you _are_ with us!”

He tried to respond in a coherent way.

“Hnggh.”

Yes, perfect, that should communicate everything he was currently thinking.  Just like the well-spoken scientist he had come to think of himself as.

“Well then, let’s get you to bed.”

It seemed Hange understood him just fine.

Levi hefted him up, he assumed it was Levi because who else would it be and then another soldier quickly stepped closer to throw one of Eren’s arms over his shoulder.  The trip back inside the castle went quickly, before he kept losing consciousness.

Next thing he knew, he was being laid down on clean, white sheets.  The other soldier was walking away somewhere outside of Eren’s field of vision.  Levi sat down on the edge of the bed.  He seemed… apprehensive.

“How’s your hand?”

Eren blinked at him stupidly for a moment before remembering that part of that limb had been missing.  He lifted his arm almost drunkenly to see that he had little stubs for fingers.  He was fairly certain that when he had first woken up, he didn’t have anything resembling fingers, so there was that.

“How bad was it?” He sounded like he had a mouthful of marbles.

“Bad.”

His frustration must have shown on his face.

“Stabbing you did seem to help.  Hange thinks you might be useful in a few weeks.”

He couldn’t say he was terribly surprised.  The soldiers had needed time to adjust and train… he just couldn’t recall how long.

The phantom voice was back in his mind again, guilt pricking with every syllable.  Jean’s face surfacing from the depths of memory as exhaustion pulled him under.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't like EreJean, that's fine. It will be gone in a chapter or two.
> 
> Also, I've never wrote EreJean before, but I was trying to make it as legitimate as any other relationship I've written, even though it's not my ship. I'm going somewhere particular with this, so if you're sticking around, please keep that in mind. I think that's it for the notes. Any questions or concerns, please contact me and I will be happy to answer hopefully without giving too much away.


End file.
